kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
