the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she told me i tasted like america
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
