vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
