You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
