Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
