dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
