I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
