i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
