they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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