oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
