At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
