so that wasnt chicken after all
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
