We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
