I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The adults are the big ones right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
