I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
