Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
