was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
