I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
