My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
