I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
