This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
