I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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