the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
