you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
