okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
