i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
And then he peed in my hair
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