I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm just crazy horny about you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
