Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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