google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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