so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
