Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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