I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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