how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
