look no pants
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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