Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
