Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
