my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
