I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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