so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize