I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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