i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
