All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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