Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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