if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
