Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
