I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
