I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do vagina's smell?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
