alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
