look no pants
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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