Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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